Inviting to Dance

I know of one dance that is quite different from what I am going to talk about here - tango. In tango traditionally you invite using the "Cabeceo". The translation is "nod of the head", and it is a non-verbal invitation to dance.

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon as ebook and paperback.

Basically, it works like this: The man looks at the woman, and when she meets his gaze, he nods with his head to indicate he wants to dance. If she accepts, she will move towards him, they meet and dance. If she doesn't accept, she will look away. In addition, a similar Cabeceo is also used between leads when entering the dance floor. You "ask" a dancing lead with a cabeceo if it is ok to enter the dance floor. If you get the Cabeceo back, you may enter. Another detail from tango is what is called a "Mirada" from a follow to a lead. In a way, it is like asking someone...

We are in the 2020s. The world is more and more equal and open-minded.

Even if traditionally there was the rule that men dance with women and that men invite to dance, now we increasingly see women dancing with women, and also men dancing with men. And it is very common that women ask men to dance, no matter what role they take on the dance floor.

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

I know that some women still struggle to invite men. They feel that they shouldn't have to, or that it is the responsibility of the men.

However, I believe that we have reached a point where it is hardly possible to maintain that position any longer if you want to dance.

• First of all, we have the fact that there are often proportionally more women in the social scene. So, with women outnumbering men, women are already at a disadvantage if they want to dance. There is more competition for...

Humans have been dancing in one form or another for a very long time: ritualistic dances, celebratory dances, dances to seduce a partner, and many other reasons. Dance can be many things. 

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

Sometimes we see dance on a stage. Sometimes we can see it on TV or on the web. Sometimes we see a dancer in the street trying to make money. These examples are all performative in a way. They are made to be seen or made to make money. 

Social dance is different. We social dance only to enjoy the moment. We don't dance to show it for someone else. We dance for ourselves and our partner. We do it to relax and enjoy the journey we are on together. We do it to express ourselves to the music and to connect with our partner. To be truly present.

And with it comes a lot of benefits, which we will cover soon. 

Social dancing is...

First of all, it makes the dance technically better. When we dance couple dances there is always leading and following. The leader sends a signal and the follower has to interpret that signal.

This is an excerpt from my book about musicality - "The Secrets of Musicality for Dancers - Learning Nine Essential Skills for Musicality in Dance" Just click the link. 

With better technique, the leader will send a clearer signal so there will be less guessing and back-leading. And the timing of the leading will be better. The follower will be better at listening to and reacting to the signal. The interpretation will also be better. And the execution of steps or moves from the follower will be better, with better timing.

The leader then needs to listen to the feedback from the follower. Is the interpretation of the leading correct? Or was there some misunderstanding?

If the follower had good technique, there will be less problems that need to be adapted to. It might be...

Nice to have you here! 

In this post you will read about confidence and why it is important on the dance floor.

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

Dare to Invite

If you want to be in the dance scene and really make it pay off, you might need to invite yourself. No matter if you are a man or woman, these days, you will often have to stand on the sidelines and watch other people enjoying themselves if you only wait for others to invite you, if you expect always to be asked.

Inviting others to dance also makes a lot of things happen. 

• First of all, you get to know more people. The more people who know you and have danced with you, the more people will have an easy time to invite you back. You have taken the first step. You already showed you wanted to dance with them. So, it is easy for them to continue. The stakes are lower. You make it easier for them...

Nice to have you here! 

In this post you will read about why you shouldn't dance with your dance partner. No, I am kidding. It is ok to dance with your partner. But...

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

... if you only dance with your partner, you will not advance as fast. It is not too uncommon that a couple shows up in class and don't want to change partners like everyone else does. I usually accept it, but I also often let them know that they will not advance as fast as dancers.

Sometimes you also see couples glued together in dance socials. I don't quite understand it. If they only want to dance together, why not do it at home? There is so much fun going on in a social, so why not take part? It is like they are there, but they are not quite there.

Yes, you can become excellent within your couple. You might dance great together. If that is the only goal, then...

Nice to have you here! In this post we talk about how to get more dances in the socials, festivals and parties, no matter what dance skills or other qualities we have! And no matter if we dance kizomba, urban kiz, salsa, bachata or any other social dance. 

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

"So far, we have covered a lot of topics that are not dance related, and also pretty quick and easy to fix. If you still struggle to get dances, even if you have made all these quick fixes, I have a couple of more tips for you.

First of all, think of how you can reverse the things we talked about in the part about Invitation Smarts. I mean, if we, on the one hand, want to avoid rejection, we have to find the right moment to invite. We have to be smart about it and ask people when they are most likely to say yes. But if we also want to be invited more often, we can reverse...

Nice to have you here! In this post we talk about something I call dance smarts. If you are a lead, follows will love if you do this. And if you are a follow, leads will too!

This is an excerpt from one of my books - "The Secrets of Social Dance - How to Become a Popular Dancer" which you can find on Amazon.

Be Gentle

This might seem obvious, but it is still far too common to not include here. Good technique is not painful at all. Poor technique can be. 

• First of all, don't squeeze your partner. Not the hand, not the body.
• Don't hold your partner's fingers. If you hold the fingers, doing any kind of turn might also turn your partners' fingers in their place. No more dancing with that partner. Maybe ever.
• Avoid pushing and pulling. Your partner wants to keep their arms in place, no need to pull them off. If you are gentle, everything will work out better. Remember, leads send a signal. They make a suggestion. It is up to the follow to interpret that signal and...